Day 65

I have been having strange dreams – hallucinatory despite almost all the medication being stopped. Here is the weirdest on.  I was trapped in a modern art paining featuring a white featureless landscape. I am trapped because to move you need something to push against (the earth most commonly). But I have nothing so am stuck. Terrifying.

Other objects appear. This means that there are other people in this painting with me but I don’t know where they are and I cannot communicate with them. The objects take the form of icons which are used in various ways by invisible agents. This continues for some time until I awake.

When I do so I my blanket has fallen off leaving me with just a thin topsheet in a room which is growing colder in the early hours!! But I have agency here and ask Lesley to close the window. Th unconscious, huh, who needs it with its strange symbols.

Mid afternoon my phone rings and it is Margo from the hospital. It was Margo who tried to call yesterday. A call to check I am OK is all that is required and she confirms that a nurse will call by my home later on Monday afternoon to remove the stents from the stoma.

I decide todays exercise will be for Lesley to drop me off and pay me credit card bill. It works, but I return home with barely enough left to eat my evening meal. The shivers come on and everything feels worse.