Day 29

11am and my old mobile phone (as opposed to my new one) rings. A private number. I’ve learned not to ignore these calls. It is from my consultant’s secretary.  Can I make a 1pm appointment? I reply I’d need some time to make arrangements.  Lesley is available and I can rearrange other things. I accept the appointment.

12.45pm I arrive at Outpatients 4 I am not recorded on the system which causes some problems. We wait for 45 minutes in a =n environment which is noisy, with loud air conditioning, phones ringing, the bustle of activity. It is stressful

The meeting with my consultant confirms that I will need my bladder removed. He starts the process of going through the details of the procedure.  By necessity I am told all the unpleasant and dangerous aspects of the operation.  It is grim listening.

Up until now there was the possibility (admittedly remote) that this would all not have to happen, that the doctors would be wrong and the biopsy’s would prove otherwise.  It is anticipated that the operation will take place before the end of August, just a month away. In a month my life changes forever

Travelling home is yet again a reflective and introverted time.  I include mental events in the class of events and so, in the words of Lao Tzu at the top of my blog, I let them take their course. I cannot face driving back to work so I take a break for a while and then open my laptop to log in and work from home.

I decide that travelling 200 miles on Thursday evening is out and visiting my mother-in-law is off.

I do some more work on my little railway.  That’s better!