Despite the overnight heat I am sleeping well. It seems to be a facet of the antibiotics.
I get an early morning call from the hospital to say that the lab has detected not one but 3 infections! No wonder things have been difficult. My consultant suggests an antibiotic but I tell them that I’ve already started with a course from my GP. They are happy with my prescription.
I take the opportunity to confirm the time of the next scan – 3:15 on Tuesday at St Cross. Now Royal Mail can do their worst. Actually now I come to think about it I haven’t received a credit card statement for this month!
As luck would have it this scan notification arrives promptly through the post.
I go out for a quick 5 minute ride on my bike. The muscles working gently make me feel good and he breeze as I travel along is welcome.
I am reading Jonathon Green’s Voices from the Underground about the experiences of the participants in the 60s Counterculture. As I read I realise why I first abandoned reading it a few years ago. You can clearly see the makings of our self-obsessed, egotistical and narcissist culture. ‘What am I going to wear’, ‘what drugs am I going to take’, ‘how can I expand my consciousness’. I..I..I..I.! All under the thin guise of a collective community approach. It also reeks of sexism. But here is the irony. There was much more of a collective spirit among the wartime fighter squadrons I have been reading about, along with the wider community in which they were embedded. Green’s book is getting tedious so maybe it will get abandoned for a second time!!
Lesley admits that she is scared for the future. A feeling of uselessness washes over me. There is absolutely nothing I can say. I do not know the future. It is a blank to me. Any words of consolation or encouragement are dry and dusty – and Lesley knows it. It is a painful moment.