I awake and it is peaceful and I am not in pain. But it does not last. Urinating is a little less painful it is true and the blood seems to be disappearing. Maybe the antibiotics are having an effect. This lasts throughout the morning
More creativity. My lovely friend and co-musician Nick has suggested how we can create something – based on the blog. I’m overjoyed that this blog can be used for creative purposes. The guys of the Transgression Quartet electro-acoustic group are amazing, when one of us is creatively blocked then another automatically steps in. We have so many pieces which we have co-created in a spirit of shared music making.
In the afternoon the pain and difficulty of urinating re-intensifies. I slip into gloom and dark thoughts appear. What if it’s not an infection but the cancer? The mind battle again. Lao Tzu arrives just in time and I tell myself not to be impatient.
I really wanted an image at the top of the blog. Finally I found one – an excerpt of The Great Wave of Kanagawa by legendary Japanese artist Hokusai. It is not blazingly original but it perfectly fits perfectly my mood – neither depressing nor schmaltzy. I have admired this for years. In my view the sailors in the frail boats will survive as long as they spontaneously react with the great wave as they are engulfed. As soon as they try to fight or resist they are doomed. In this sense the image fits with my Lao Tzu quote.
In the afternoon I feel increasingly weary until I actually doze off at my desk. My colleague Ash pulls my leg, but he understands
I have a desire to buy Tiger Bloomer bread and stop off at a supermarket on the way home to buy a loaf. I get home and a lovely surprise awaits – a pot of flowers sent to myself and Lesley. I sit for a while just thinking of the kindness which surrounds us.
After dinner I make a phone call as a thank you for the flowers. But my body temperature appears to have a competition going on with the air temperature for supremacy! I feel feverish and doze on the sofa until bedtime. I only stir to help Lesley rescue a frog which has been brought in by Brandi the Cat. Hunting frogs is, unfortunately, her new hobby.
The night is a cauldron but I sleep soundly for the first time in weeks.